Consistency is a concept that was brought into my life a few years ago from one of my dearest friends. It was in regard to relationships and the stability we can create with consistent behavior. It was so simple, yet so profound as a concept that I never hear being discussed. It has stuck with me and as I learned devotion during that time up to now, I have become more and more clear, it has become a lifestyle for me and what it creates has proven this concept to me. It is really a magic tool in creating trust, stability and safety in any relationship, but I am getting ahead of myself.
The concept of consistency came up again recently, in a documentary I watched called “Hiro Dreams of Sushi”. In one part, Hiro discusses that the key to becoming possibly the greatest sushi chef in the world is not about flare, not about gimmick, flashiness, etc., but about providing a high quality experience and doing it consistently. He said consistency is the most important thing… if you have found something that is effective, all you have to do is deliver it consistently. Let me reiterate the message, the point is being consistently excellent is what makes it exceptional. Hiro dedicated his life to self mastery in this form and felt every day was an opportunity to get better, even if only slightly.
This example of consistency could be applied to a myriad of topics; Athletes who perform consistently, are the ones who stand out as masters. If a golfer can swing with consistent form, he becomes a master. A basketball player consistently hitting 3 pointers, is considered a master. In all the examples, it isn’t about being a master at something, it is about self mastery that delivers consistent quality.
Working on consistently being excellent and non-reactive in relationships is working toward being a master of self because it is the road to being unconditionally loving. The only way to remove ourselves from taking things personally, allowing us to be consistent no matter the circumstances or outcome, is by being unconditionally loving. I have come to enjoy recognizing when I am choosing my consistency over reaction or fear and it keeps me devoted to the goal (whatever my goal may be). I find comfort in knowing that I am not responsible for outcome; I just get to be accountable for my choices and what I am putting into the world. It has become clear to me that consistency is the way to lead by example and create the trust, stability and safety I mentioned above. Through doing this, we get closer to having completely authentic relationships with people, where they share from feeling, not through the filter in their head that puts conditions on everything they truly want to share based on their anticipation of how we will take it and what effect it may have on us. This safety we create and the example we set, is how we heal so many that have been hurt and are afraid.